Today I finally managed to see Dr. Azmi of HUKM at Pusat Pakar HUKM. In reality I realise there is little need to see the doctors now that the implants have been taken out and I've gained full recovery. But to appease my ever-worried parents (and spouse), I chose to go over, at least for a chat.
And of course, there is that main underlaying reason that has been nagging at me for years. The hope and the dream of building a support network for young Malaysian with Scoliosis.
In hopes that they would not feel alone and know there are many others out there like them. In hopes that one day Malaysians would be aware of Scoliosis and respect (and understand!) those with this condition. In hopes that one day no young person has to go through what I personally went through as a teenager with Scoliosis.
The man who had skillfully operated on me and changed my life, Professor Muhamad Razak, does not hold clinics anymore. So off I went to see Dr. Azmi, the man who was there for my second surgery (implant removal) back in 2008. And here I will unabashedly admit that Dr. Azmi was also the man who had to tolerate my blabbering nonsense of chaos and panic back in that brightly lit operating theatre, as all my inner demons had surfaced then and reared their ugly heads.
We had an encouraging chat. The good doctor is supportive of the idea for a Scoliosis Support Network. I am hopeful that one day soon it will become a reality.
I am told that there is no need for an annual check-up, no need for anymore x-rays, no need for anymore physiotherapy, as long as I experience no pain on a day-to-day basis.
I very nearly got a lump at the back of my throat which had to be swallowed back (hard) upon seeing Prof Mat's scrawl of "Fully Recovered" right there on the last page of my file. If you've gone through 20 years of scoliosis treatments, pains and problems as I did, and I'm sure many of you out there did.. I'm sure you'd understand that there are moments when triumph and gladness can cause those lumps-at-the-back-of-your-throat to occur :)
Praise God. Dare I say that after 20 years, I can now live as normally as any other ordinary Jane can. Live without the fear of the curves digressing, without the fear of further surgeries, without so many nagging fears that I'd rather not go into right here, else I'd sound like a constantly whining ungrateful witch.
This blog had always been about my personal experience, and yet thus far I'd restrained writing in a very personal manner, as an attempt to stay objective on the subject of Scoliosis.
But lately I've realised, there is no separating Scoliosis from my personal emotions and wellbeing. Scoliosis is in you, it makes you the person that you are because you live your whole life with it and you can't run away from it. If you're a scoliosis patient, scoliosis is you.
This is not a site of a medical expert. My opinions are shallow and from the perspective of a Scoliosis patient, 31 years of age, first diagnosed with Scoliosis at the age of 12.
I will continue writing on things that are relevant to all Scoliosis patients out there, in hopes of reaching out through sharing of information and personal experiences. And I hope those of you out there will share your experiences with me as well.
Because this can be the start of something great.
Botol Ukir Inai
1 year ago